King of the Nerds: Episode 7

Last night was the semi-finale for King of the Nerds! I was, unfortunately, not able to live blog my recap due to redonkulous contractions because my daughter thinks she needs to have a release date earlier than promised. As a gamer, you would think that I appreciate this but let me tell you… I don’t. So let’s get back on track with what really matters here: the recap for the fight to sit upon the Throne of Games!

We return to Nerdvana with the nerds toasting Chris. I must say, I’m still bummed Chris is gone because I definitely thought he would’ve been in the finale. I am happy, however, that the little hobbit/ewok/man, Brian gets to stick around. That guy definitely makes me laugh (especially when he has a wine glass in his hand).

Now that we’re in the final five, the teams have been dissolved. It’s pretty evident, however, that the Titans of Rigel still have a great bond but I doubt that will sway them when it comes to eliminating each other. Like I’ve pointed out before, these nerds seem to be incredibly mature about the fact that they’re in a competition and understand when other competitors gun for them. By the way, I love that Kayla is the last girl standing! She’s smart, geeky and honest about things. I’ll get into that more later but I just have to point out how awesome she is for holding her own at Nerdvana.

The next day, the nerds learn that the next challenge is live gaming and Xander lets out the greatest slo-mo evil laugh I’ve heard since Dr. Horrible. The final five will be racing in the challenge with NerdioKarts and the winner will be safe from banishment as well as choosing a single nerd to go into the Nerd Off. This is pretty awesome for four of the nerds… the fifth is not too excited since he can’t drive. Yes, Zack actually asks what side the gas is on because he was too busy “writing books n’ stuff” to get his license. My guess is he’s used to his mom driving him places. Because, hey, stereotypes are fun.

At the challenge, we’re met with a Tron reality and the most epic slo-mo walk out of the nerds in Tron outfits. Through the laps, the nerds can drive over lighted stars to earn points as well as earning points in their placements. This means the first place car could possibly lose if another competitor collects more stars. Personally, I think they should have also given the nerds banana peels and turtle shells but that probably would have gotten too messy. After an adorable start from TronTronKitty, the nerds are off! Zack is doing unbelievably well but don’t worry, that doesn’t last long. He skids out and Kayla zooms to the front! Is it just me, or is Kayla actually lapping nerds?

The technology puns in this episode are hilarious. My favorite is from Jack: “They’re crashing more than Microsoft!” Yea, I totally choked on my drink with that one. Xander, being the adorable nerd he is, keeps stopping at the crashes to ask if everyone is alright. Even doing so, he ends up in second place. (Kayla first, of course.) Jack in third, Zack in fourth, and Brian brings up the rear. Look, hobbits were not made for cars. It really all comes down to how many stars the competitors collected. Brian comes in fifth, Zack in fourth (and of course there’s a montage of how unfair that is because everyone else messed him up so much), Jack in third, and Xander in second. That means Kayla wins!! She is automatically in the final four and gets to choose a single nerd for the Nerd Off. She, and a competitor of her choice, also win tele-prescence robots thanks to Double Robotics worth $2,000 each! She ends up choosing Xander for keeping her on her toes throughout the challenge.

Back at Nerdvana, Kayla and Xander rush off to meet with their prized robots. They look a lot like the robot from Big Bang Theory and that’s super awesome. Sitting at the round table with their dinners, Jack, Zack and Brian contemplate the politics of who they should send to the Nerd Off. My favorite thing about all of this is that they are all so strategic about it. This isn’t like other competition shows that just vote all willy nilly. The nerds weigh each option and outcome. I love it so much. This does, however, lead to an unfortunate bargaining chip Xander comes up with, called “Xander Bombs.” He informs Kayla that if she votes for him, he will make sure something bad happens for her. Here’s why I love Kayla so much. She doesn’t put up with these threats at all and flat out tells Xander that these “Xander Bombs” have probably hurt him. Xander… you really should read your boss strats before taking on a boss like Kayla!

In the throne room, we look upon the Throne of Games. Ahh, I imagine that the fan they have blowing in their faces feels lovely as they shake their hair back and forth. The votes are revealed and Kayla chooses Jack because she finds his brain scary. The remaining vote 2 for Zack and 2 for Brian. That means it’s back to my girl Kayla to break the tie with her vote. She chooses Zack which means this Nerd Off will be between the remaining Midas Touch Attack teammates. We learn that the final Nerd Off will be a challenge called Angry Nerds. If you have ever been addicted to the game Angry Birds (because you really can’t play it without becoming somewhat addicted) then you know this will be a good one! Zack and Jack must create a structure to protect their nerds so that their opponent cannot knock them down with an air canon. Kayla helps Jack prepare and… no one helps Zack. I feel like this has been the usual for each Nerd Off he has gone into. I’d feel bad for the kid if it wasn’t his own fault for alienating every one in the house.

We enter the Nerd Off in a large auditorium and the 3 safe nerds watch on with large buckets of popcorn. Let the battle begin! Jack and Zack must launch attacks at their competitor’s structure and the first to knock down 3 nerd balls wins. Rock, paper, scissors will determine who goes first (of course Zack wins) and Xander calls it so well: How is it no one can beat Zack when he does scissors every time?!? Zack aims and launches… right over the structure. Jack observes and takes his time but unfortunately fires between 2 pillars. Zack fires and knocks over a large ball. Jack launches and knocks out some of Zack’s structure. Zack fires and does the same. If you’ve played Angry Birds then you know knocking off the structure can be just as important.

If you’ve been waiting all season for the greatest burn ever it comes during this Nerd Off. Zack seems to be struggling with his aim and it clips to an interview segment with Kayla informing Zack he needs to account for gravity and to ask Mary Kate because she can tell him all about. I completely lost it when I heard that! Get him Kayla!!

Jack is finally able to tie it up so that each competitor has 1 star. This seems to give Zack the motivation to knock down another ball. Jack is not able to get another point which means if Zack knocks down any of the remaining balls, he wins. Hold your breath people! Zack misses which gives Jack the shot to tie it up. He does but that just means it’s back to Zack who has another chance to win this. He misses and if you’re like me then you were crossing your fingers with all your might that Jack took the opportunity to win. Guess all of that finger crossing worked because Jack does knock over a third ball and earns his way into the final four! Zack, the Forsaken, has finally been knocked out of the competition. I don’t think I could have handled his excuses for another week so thank you Jack!

Behold! Our final four stand ready to compete in the finale: Jack, Kayla, Xander, and Brian. I must say, I’m not sure who will win this. It really depends on the challenges that lie before them. However, what I can say is that I so badly want the final 2 to be Kayla and Xander. They’re both nerds I would love to call my King. Until next week nerds!!

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