The Walking Dead: Season 2, Episode 1

I don’t know why I wasn’t paying closer attention to the release of the first episode of The Walking Dead: Season 2. Somehow it just escaped me and when I was on Steam last night I noticed it was ready for download. Yes please! Here is my adventure through the first episode: All That Remains. (Posts about The Walking Dead game will include SPOILERS as well as my choices that customize my game. This means your experience may be different.)

If you played through Season 1, this new season will use your choices to customize the new episodes. Otherwise, I assume, the game will auto generate choices. (Just in case you didn’t actually play through the first season, The Walking Dead game is like a choose-your-own-adventure book; your choices change the gameplay.) After a quick recap of the last season, we are reunited with Clementine, Christa and Omid.

I’m guessing it’s been about 6 months or so considering how far Christa is into her pregnancy. They scope out a public bathroom to make sure it’s safe and, for some reason, decide that the adults go into the men’s bathroom while Clem goes into the women’s. As we all know, it’s completely safe to split up in the zombiepocalypse.

Oh wait, it’s not you say? Well that’s apparently news to these people.

Though the first wrong move here is suggesting your baby be named Omid...

Though, let’s be clear, the first wrong move here is suggesting your baby be named Omid…

After checking all of the bathroom stalls for lurkers, Clem places her gun next to her backpack on the sink counter and as soon as the game zooms in on this detail you know you’re going to be in some trouble soon. Clem uses a water bottle to clean her face and accidentally knocks it to the floor and of course it rolls into the furthest stall. While retrieving it, someone enters the bathroom. In the reflection of the mirrors, I thought it was Christa and that Clem would have to accidentally attack her. I’m not really sure if that would have been worse than what happened though.

This female robber gets Clem’s gun off of the counter and forces her to show herself. The robber insists that Clem must have more supplies than she’s letting on, no matter how much Clem insists her backpack is all she has. This is when Omid enters and places himself in the right position to get the gun back and save Clem. However, the door to the bathroom decides to close loudly at this point and the robber accidentally shoots Omid in the chest. Enter Christa who shoots the robber without hesitation and then mourns the death of her vertically challenged husband.

We cut to 16 months later with Clem and Christa sitting around a weasel attempting to cook on a low fire. There’s no baby and Christa is pretty short tempered with Clem. My guess is either Christa lost the baby due to stress or the kiddo was born but didn’t last long at all. According to Christa, Clementine should be the one learning to build fires and other essential things just in case she’s ever alone.

You mean there are still chores in the z-poc??

You mean there are still chores in the z-poc??

She leaves to get wood and tells Clem that she had better not let the fire die. Of course, this is exactly what happens after she leaves. Clem rifles through her backpack and finds a photo of Lee (I miss him too Clemmy), a drawing of Kenny, Katjaa, and Duck (all died in the first season), and a lighter. Clem lights some kindling with the lighter and throws a log on the fire. Looks like they should actually be able to eat that night! Except Clem hears yelling coming from the woods. She sneaks out and sees men surrounding Christa insisting she tell them where her people are. Clem throws a rock in the woods and yells for Christa to run. Clem runs through the woods and eventually one of the aggressors catches up to her.

Pick on someone your own size!

Pick on someone your own size guy! I do wonder if these guys aren’t actually terrible people…

Clem puts up a good fight though and eventually gets the guy attacked by walkers. Unfortunately, one guy isn’t a big enough snack for all of the walkers in the area and as she’s retreating, Clem falls into a river that sweeps her away.

Welcome to The Walking Dead people!

Clementine wakes up on a beach alone, cold, and starving. She climbs up into the woods and moves pretty cautiously through the trees. I’ll admit, I jumped when some crows flew out of a bush right next to Clem. I’m such a baby with these games! Clem finds a dog and follows him to what seems like his owner’s camp.

Possibly not man's best friend...

Possibly not man’s best friend…

There are two shredded tents, an emptied out van, and, aside from the photo of the dog’s family, it looks like this place has been picked clean by looters. Luckily no one really loots through the trash because that’s where Clem finds a family size can of beans. All she needs now is something to open the can with. My guess is the knife sticking out of the lurker that’s tied to the tree would do the trick. It takes several blows to the head with a stick, but eventually the lurker dies. I really hate the faces Clem makes during these parts of the game. You can tell she absolutely hates knowing that this is necessary. I often find myself involuntarily vocally encouraging her. “It’s okay Clem, just one more hit and he should be dead… I know, you just need to hit him a little harder and it will all be over.” Again, I’m such a baby with these games!

With her new, “still sharp” pocket knife, Clem is able to open the can and finally eat. Turns out the dog is a huge beggar and just whines as Clem eats. I really hate being a softy for animals because I told Clem to feed the dog. Whoa whoa whoa, this dog isn’t just a beggar, he’s greedy and steals the can from Clem. “Hang on there little fella, you need to share with little Clem!” I tell him. Which turns out was the wrong thing to say because the moment Clem reaches for the can, the dog attacks her and tries to bite her arm off. “JESIE CREASIE CLEM FIND A WEAPON!” I yell at the screen. Clem finds the can lying next to her and is able to hit the dog and then kick him off her into the broken tent poles. I feel like I’ll never be able to look at camping the same way again, tents are apparently dangerous! Then again… they will be handy in the z-poc. So camping is back on my “cool list.” Clem puts the dog out of his misery and walks into the woods with her gaping wound. Personally, I would have cooked up the dog and used the tent poles as a perimeter. But that wasn’t a choice in the game so I just went along for the ride.

She rates The Hunger Games as child's play nowl

She rates The Hunger Games as child’s play nowl

Clem finds a clearing and sits up against a large boulder. You know, where every lurker in the woods can see. No matter how many times I told her this was not the place to pass out from the pain, she didn’t listen. In her haze, Clem opens her eyes and sees lurkers coming towards her. The game tells us that we need to run. I tell Clem she needs to run. Clem apparently doesn’t listen to either of us because she just stumbles around. She comes dangerously close to becoming a zombie snack when two men, Luke and Pete, come out of nowhere and rescue her. Phew! They carry Clementine towards their hideout when they notice the blood all over her sleeve. In a pretty understandable overreaction, Luke throws Clem to the ground thinking that she’s been bitten by a walker. Clem and I both insisted to these men that it was a dog bite and she just needed to stop the bleeding so she could find Christa but they weren’t completely trusting us. This is the z-poc after all and everyone knows you can’t even trust kids. They decide to take lil Clem back to their place because they have a doctor that will be able to tell. Phew! Again!

This might have been a warmer welcome if she'd had Girl Scout cookies.

This might have been a warmer welcome if she’d had Girl Scout cookies.

When they arrive back at their cabin, Clem is confronted with several people that really don’t want her there. Albeit she’s just a little girl, they really don’t care. A man named Nick insists that he’s not going through “the same thing” again, a very pregnant Rebecca that is obviously a frequent passenger on the Cranky Train, an older gentleman that seems to actually have some compassion, and the doctor Carlos that cannot tell an animal bite from a lurker’s. You can definitely tell that something awful and depressing has happened to this group and possibly each individual. In the middle of convincing everyone it truly is just a dog bite and all Clem wants is to get it stitched so she can leave, Nick gets irresponsible with his gun and accidentally fires a little too close to Clem’s head. This causes a little girl to poke her head out of the cabin to find out what just happened. Carlos urges her to stay inside and yes, there’s plenty of over protective fathering going on here. They collectively decide to lock Clem in the shed until the morning because if she is actually bitten by a lurker then the fever will have set in by then. I hate to break it to Carlos, you know the doctor, but if infection from a dog bite sets in she will have a fever as well. So really, this isn’t the best way to find out what she was bitten by. Whatever!

Luke and Nick locked Clem up in the shed and insist that she’ll be safe in there. Sorry boys but I know Clem and she will not exactly sleep away the night waiting for someone to decide her fate. Clem is able to find some fishing line (for sutures) and a hammer (for… hammering). After removing a board that’s patching a hole in the shed, Clem sneaks down under the cabin and is able to get inside.

No cage can contain this mini-beast!

No cage can contain this mini-beast!

Of course she eavesdrops at the kitchen and hears that this group suspects that Clem has people that will come looking for her. Clem climbs upstairs and accidentally bumps into Sarah, Carlos’ daughter. Sarah isn’t exactly z-poc material. She’s obviously very delicate and sheltered because she only cares about Clementine pinky swearing that she’s her new BFF. I figure Clem needs a friend, but I also figure this girl isn’t going to last long. She provides Clem with hydrogen peroxide so at this point we just need to find a needle and bandages. Clem sneaks into the bathroom across the hall and finds a needle in the medicine cabinet. Too bad there’s nothing else in there. Just as Clem is leaving, she hears someone in the hallway and has to hide in shower. A visibly flustered Rebecca comes in and splashes water on her face while she tells herself she just has to have this baby and that she hopes it’s “his.” Oh Rebecca, you’ve been a naughty girl! She leaves and Clem is able to safely sneak down the hall and into another bedroom. She finds rags on top of the dresser and a watch in the drawer which she just leaves there. There’s really no reason to steal something from these people that she doesn’t actually need. She sneaks back to the shed and sets everything out for the terrible yet inevitable suturing that must happen.

This was another moment that I couldn’t stop myself from verbally encouraging poor Clem. This little girl has become so tough but you can see that by the time Clem incorrectly stabs the needle through her skin that she’s about ready to pass out. She makes it through the suturing and just when you think the whole ordeal is over a lurker has decided to crawl through the hole in the shed. Which is super rude!

"Ankle biters" is truly redefined in the z-poc.

“Ankle biters” is truly redefined in the z-poc.

There’s only one way to deal with super rude lurkers, and that’s obviously to kick them onto a boat anchor and bash in their skull with a hammer. All of the noise is enough to draw out the residents of the cabin (though Clem’s painful cries apparently weren’t) and they finally realize how this little girl has survived for so long. Even though she stole medical supplies from them (and dumped out their whole bottle of H2O2) Carlos decides to take Clem inside the cabin to treat her. After all, she would have a fever by now if she were bitten by a walker.

Inside, Carlos remarks that Clem needs to work on her suturing but otherwise she will be all right. She’ll have a wicked scar but that’s better than losing it. Carlos also makes it very clear that Sarah is his baby and he’s going to keep her an ignorant little girl as long as possible. Luke brings Clem some food and they spend time getting to know each other. At some point, Nick comes in and apologizes to Clem for being such a hot head. Which is nice because, as Clem remarks, they’ve all had hard times.

Clem tells Luke about Lee and Christa, and Luke explains why Nick almost blew her head off (his mom was killed by someone they took in with a bite) and why Rebecca is a permanent resident of McBitchy town (she’s got a lot on her mind but we already knew she wished Maury Povich was still around). Pete comes in and tells Luke to get some sleep so they can get their fish in the morning. The moment Clem is finally getting some peace and quiet, Bitchy McBitcherton (i.e. Rebecca) decides to come in and tell Clem that she got what she came for and should just leave. As you can see, she’s the subtle type. Clem has the option to ask her who the father of the baby is, but I’ve been here before. I know if you say something like that that you may regret it later. So Clem ignored her. I know from experience that nothing bothers a hormonal pregnant woman more than being ignored.

Cut to the next day when Pete, Nick and Clem are heading to the fish traps. (But didn’t Pete tell Luke to go with them?) We find out that Pete is Nick’s uncle and that’s why he’s so hard on him, because he loves him and wants him to grow up. But Nick is over it and storms off. The drama never ends in the z-poc. Which is good since we’ll no longer be able to watch Grey’s Anatomy or The Bachelor. My advice, when these awkward z-poc situations happen, is to just pop some popcorn and enjoy the show.

The entertainment doesn’t last long because Nick is soon yelling about something he found. Pete and Clem run to the river to find a huge massacre. There’s really no telling if all of the bodies were walkers or human but they decide to check the bodies to see if anyone is possibly alive. The men think they know who did this because apparently there was a nasty dude that used to be a part of their group, but he left. Clem finds her backpack (which she left at the weasel dinner) next to a man that wasn’t quite dead yet. Even though she questions him, he just asks for water. The only reason I let Clem give him some water is because I know this bottle is the one that rolled into a dirty bathroom stall. Joke’s on you dying man! Unfortunately this is where things go south on both sides of Clem and she has to decide if she should help Nick or Pete who has just been bitten on the ankle. Since Nick is on the same side of the river as their cabin, my Clem chose Pete. He is incredibly capable but he’ll need some extra help with that bite.

Here endeth the episode. Episode 2 will be released in the first quarter of this year and according to the clip at the end of Episode 1 it will include Pete needing to saw off his own leg and Clem corrupting innocent Sarah. Can’t wait!

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